Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Cows 101



TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You retire on the income.



CHINESE ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.



INDIAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You worship them.



PAKISTAN ECONOMICS

You don't have any cows.

You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.

You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.

You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.



AMERICAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.

You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.

You wage war to save the world and grab the cows.



FRENCH ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.



GERMAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.



BRITISH ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

They are both mad.



ITALIAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.



SWISS ECONOMICS

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.



JAPANESE ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.



RUSSIAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.

You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.



MALAYSIAN ECONOMICS

You have two cows.

You slaughter one for Hari Raya Puasa and the other for Hari Raya Haji.

Just before that, both the cows were wondering along the PLUS Highways.



PHILIPPINE ECONOMICS

You have only one cow.

So the government claims there is a shortage of cows.

The government ask grants from other countries so the country can produce more cows.

The other countries oblige.

The government divides the grants among themselves, and blames the opposition of corruption.

The people stage People Power 42.

The government is overthrown.

Then its back to the single cow.


[0] This is Where You Bite the Sandwich

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