A Nightmare in the All-Spin Zone

Just woke up to the sound of a grating voice coming from my television, which I forgot to turn off. I must have accidentally pressed the remote, while sleeping, to jump to FoxNews. There was Bill O'Reilly talking. That's not a good thing at 2 o'clock in the morning.

And it struck me: there's a reason why his "talking points" are constantly flashed on the screen even as he talks about them. O'Reilly Factor viewers are dumb, moronic pinheads they have to be told twice about what's going on.

Now that I've taken that out of my system, I go back to sleep.

Happy New Year, everybody!