This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.
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The Boy The Girl
The Rat The Rabbit
and the Last Magic Days
Republic of Carnage
Three Horror Stories
For the Way We Live Now
Stories and Poems
From a Forgotten Life
Ateneo de Naga University Press, 2018
Don't Tell Anyone:
With Shakira Andrea Sison
Pride Press / Anvil Publishing, 2017
Cupful of Anger,
Bottle Full of Smoke:
The Stories of
Jose V. Montebon Jr.
Silliman Writers Series, 2017
First Sight of Snow
and Other Stories
Encounters Chapbook Series
Et Al Books, 2014
Celebration: An Anthology to Commemorate the 50th Anniversary of the Silliman University National Writers Workshop
Sands and Coral, 2011-2013
Silliman University, 2013
Handulantaw: Celebrating 50 Years of Culture and the Arts in Silliman
Tao Foundation and Silliman University Cultural Affairs Committee, 2013
Inday Goes About Her Day
Locsin Books, 2012
Beautiful Accidents: Stories
University of the Philippines Press, 2011
Heartbreak & Magic: Stories of Fantasy and Horror
Old Movies and Other Stories
National Commission for Culture
and the Arts, 2006
FutureShock Prose: An Anthology of Young Writers and New Literatures
Sands and Coral, 2003
Nominated for Best Anthology
2004 National Book Awards
Follow the Spy
Blogs I Read
IAN ROSALES CASOCOT
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I don't get it. I don't get how and why some people perceive and take offense so readily. I've always believed that in this world, in this sad human reality, you really cannot please everybody and
that your only salvation is to do the best you can with what you do, and hope that that is enough. But what if people you respect, especially someone you think will be the least
to judge you, will point out something in what you do and paint everything in a surprising shade of malice, even a kind of evil?
Everything in you, the core of your being becomes small. Some would call this "demoralization." I call this death.
Sometimes, I am tempted to mourn the part of me who wants to do something good, who genuinely wants to do something positive, but can no longer do so because of puzzling bureaucracy. Honestly, I tried to follow what ways were prescibed -- but I am at the ends of my hope's rope: I am now told, to my biggest surprise, that that
path is "wrong" as well. I am puzzled. Most of all, I am hurt. I really don't want to go on anymore
, and I want to wrench myself away from all these crusades and just do ... nothing. I once tried to cure this impasse before by becoming selfish, by not contributing anymore to "the common good." Instead I focused on me, on my writing, on my career, and cared less about what went on about me. Why did I ever decide to come out of that shell hoping that I can finally help? Was that the wrong move? Is doing absolutely nothing the ultimate salvation?
Maybe it is. Or maybe there will be another world I can inhabit where things are a bit brighter, more positive. I don't know. I don't know.
But let's see what happens in the next few days. I know that a crucial personal decision will soon be at hand, and
I really don't want to be called an insensitive boat-rocker anymore.
 This is Where You Bite the Sandwich
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