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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Wednesday, August 16, 2023

entry arrow12:44 PM | Reflection From the Exile

Here's a pre-birthday reflection. After the ravages of the pandemic, I’m back to teaching after a very long hiatus to take care of my mental health β€” and here are some thoughts. I exiled myself to the desert for three years, turned my back on almost everything, and leaned only on my creative endeavors for sustenance. It wasn’t utopia, there were often psychotropic meds involved, and there were a lot of failures as well as successes β€” but I learned discernment. I now know how recognize the honest promptings of my heart, and to obey it. I know now how to calibrate expectations. I now know to disregard the entrenched worship of the institutional. 𝕀 𝕒𝕝𝕀𝕠 π•Ÿπ• π•¨ π•œπ•Ÿπ• π•¨ 𝕨𝕙𝕠 π•žπ•ͺ π•—π•£π•šπ•–π•Ÿπ••π•€ 𝕒𝕣𝕖. I have learned that I'm at my happiest when I write. [The exile was an extraordinarily productive time, creative-wise.] I have also learned gratefulness, forgiveness, and the delicate balance of the adventurous yes and the self-preserving no. I do still need to work on replying to people in a timely manner [I get overwhelmed so easily by the volume I get, compounded by debilitating ADHD], but I’ve set up a structure that will help manage the flow. I hope I don’t have to go back to the desert again. It wasn’t bad, but life is more than just an abundance of sand.

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