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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

entry arrow10:45 AM | Winona Forever

GQ's Alex Pappademas goes into speculative mode in his great profile on Winona Ryder, answering this question: What if the actress never got arrested for shoplifting and never took those pills?

Imagine a parallel universe where there is not this Winona-shaped hole in recent cool-movie history. She'd have been one of the Dylans in Todd Haynes's I'm Not There, for sure. Maybe the object of Jim Carrey's amnesia in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. She could have been a Tenenbaum.* Maybe even a Cullen.

* Yes, Wes Anderson shot The Royal Tenenbaums before her arrest. But let's say, in this parallel universe, Winona doesn't drop out of Godfather III, which creates a butterfly-effect ripple across the space-time continuum: Sofia Coppola doesn't replace her, which means Sofia Coppola's performance isn't eviscerated by the press, which means she continues to act instead of pursuing a career behind the camera, and the adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides's novel The Virgin Suicides falls to a fresh-off-Rushmore Wes Anderson, delaying Tenenbaums by two years. Winona plays Margot, obviously. During the film's opening weekend, syndicated radio personality Glenn Beck is mauled by a tiger.

Funny. (Especially the last sentence.)

Read more here.

I miss Winona Ryder. That girl had subtlety. Take note of her May Welland in Martin Scorsese's The Age of Innocence: so sweet and caring ... and manipulative. Please bring her back, Hollywood.

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[1] This is Where You Bite the Sandwich