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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Wednesday, August 08, 2018

entry arrow10:17 PM | Trust

It just occurred to me that the reason why a significant number of my stories are of the confessional type -- quite autobiographical, I must admit -- is that I have never learned to properly open up to people without getting dashed by the disappointment that they don't quite believe my story. I get condescending responses like, "Are you sure about this? Maybe if..." and variations of the same, which I allow them to do, in the name of skepticism and all that. But inside, I'm like, "What the f--? Here I am doing this stupid confessional thing with you, and I rarely do this, and you doubt me?" I once had an altercation with a former good friend, and when I poured my feelings out to a common friend, I was pointedly and condescendingly told, "That's your version of the story." But the last laugh was mine, because a few years later, that former friend sued that common friend, and that common friend was hunted down like a common criminal by the police and landed in jail. Why am I posting this? I don't really know. I guess it's just a realization that, for the lack of somebody to trust, I turn to the next best thing in my need for a sounding board: my stories. They're really mostly my life, fictionalized. If you believe they happened, good for you. If you don't believe they happened, I could care less; they're fiction.


[0] This is Where You Bite the Sandwich