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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

entry arrow4:21 PM | The Last Day

I remember smiling today. Last night, which I drowned in beer (how original), was a headache with all its slowly dawning disappointments, recriminations, and startling revelations -- and being a writer, imagination of what could have happened was so much worse that what actually did: I demanded the telling of the details which I knew would seduce me into a kind of calmness. A calmness that knows. I talk in riddles, of course. But how else to vent about the personal in a public forum?

And that this is my last day of 30 is something that nags me. Last week, Mark found my first gray hair. I shrieked. I imagine there are horrible lines crinkling every inch of my face right now.

In my head, I am still gloriously 28. And will forever remain to be.

I remember smiling today, despite the insufferable humidity, the rough air clinging to my skin like an unwanted lover. At least this is completely extraordinary from my annual bouts with the birthday blues.

Like Zarah, I am contemplating getting a tatoo.


[0] This is Where You Bite the Sandwich