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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.


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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

entry arrow9:49 AM | No Labor Day

In many ways, I'm thankful for May 1, how it forces me to just stop and take in one day very slowly, like a forbidden but long-awaited leisure, away from the maddening impulses of regular existence. I almost feel guilty about not rushing out to accomplish what must be done by x hours. I realzie this is the first time in many, many weeks that I have opted to wake up late, with the midmorning sun already pouring into my windows like a lost friend. I have been used to waking up to a slight panic every time the tiniest bit of sunlight trickles in every morning. Dawn was my herald to get things going because I have found out many days ago there was just not enough time in any given day for me to really do and finish anything. Of course, blogging now, I still realize the same story is true: my work still piles up, and there seems to be no end to anything. But somewhere deep within me, I think I have let go a little bit of something: that clamp that has me whispering "Oh God, help" every five minutes or so. I am the worst kind of workaholic, somebody who has a schedule to keep, and no clue to how to manage it. Deep inside, I tell myself I will never ever do this to myself ever again. But how do you stop? And do I really mean what I tell myself?

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