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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.


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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

entry arrow2:31 PM | Enough

... and because summer is really, really over, I'm getting back to work. Enough procrastination and distraction already, I've already had my rest and my fun. I have so much to do, and so little time. Wish me luck.

A little while later...

I'm a little scared for my sanity. I'm in the thick of things now, work-wise, but this is the state of my anxiety: First, I made noodles for dinner -- and forgot to add the oil. I was wondering why the noodles were a bit crunchy. Did I not soak it with enough time in the boiling water? Later, I found the pack of oil near my kitchen sink, unopened, unusued. I tried laughing it off as a mistake of human nature. But then... Second, I brewed myself some coffee a while back, following the routine of putting in the filter, and then the grounded beans ready for boiling. After a few minutes, I felt myself ready for a cup and tried to pour myself one. Turned out I didn't put in any water in the coffeemaker.

I am going mad. Or forgetful. Or developing dementia. Or Alzheimer's. Or just anxious. Or just too busy ticking things off my priority list in my head as I advance to the dark days of going back to the trenches. I have ammunition. Mahler's No. 2 is playing in the background, and I feel my self swelling. Oh yeah.

In the meantime, see me scream.

Update, 5:30 a.m.

I just finished calculating and marking down all grades from my summer classes, as well as some grading the incompletes from last semester. I am so effing tired. And sleepy. The sun just burst through the darkness, and it's already morning. In the background, Robbie Williams sings from his Swing While You're Winning album. I already had Carly Simon and Barbra Streisand, some classical music, and the Original Cast recording of Rent. (It's that kind of night.) Okay... What I plan to do now is to go right this minute to the office so that Mike our secretary can take a crack on my grades when he goes to work this morning. Once I deposit everything, I come back to the pad, get a quick nap, and then wake up to attend my first meeting of the day at 10 a.m. Okay then.

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