The Spy in the Sandwich

Tracking Sandwich Eaters

Saturday, March 31, 2007

1:24 PM | If Sanjaya Wins...

This New York Times story about Howard Stern, of all people, plotting to "destroy" television juggernaut American Idol highlights an uncomfortable truth about how the world works. You know what they say about most "great" things? They eventually die off, the victims of their own success.

Think of the ancient pax Romana, which soon allowed for barbarians to crash the Romans' elegant gates. Think of "democracy" in Palestine, where elections actually allow radicals to take the top posts and continue waging their war against whom they consider "infidels," or in the Philippines, where jokes like Lito Lapid and Joseph Estrada can find themselves elected into office, or in the U.S., where a George W. Bush can actually become the so-called "leader of the free world."

Consider the current joke that is now American Idol. Do you remember when we used to go ga-ga over this karaoke fest? I used to, and later realized all of that was bullshit I was too willing to swallow.

So now comes this brilliant website called Vote for the Worst, which has an interesting rationale why it wants Americans to vote for the hopelessly tone-deaf Sanjaya Malakar. (The campaign increasingly seems to be a success.) The funniest section in the whole website has got to be the vitriol of angry fans of the show. (Read: people who have no lives.) Most of the angry emails are a riot. Here's a few unedited ones:

U no wat???????? y shoulden't call this mail bag, u should call it HATE MAIL!!!!!!!!! every1 hates u!! and ur ruining it 4 every1!! and i heard ur doing this because "oh u wanna watch more CSI" well stuff that in ur face cuz u'll get fed up with it after like a week!!! CLOSE DOWN THE WEBSITE!!!!!
-Anastasia

hey VFTW, my name is alex. i want you to stop this horrible thing. i REALLY want lakisha to win and i want that fucking bastard sanjaya whatever his last name is off the show. he is a JOKE. look at his hair, dumbasses. GET THE PICTURE? whats the point of picking the horrible ones if youre going to be hearing the songs they made after they win the competition?? wouldnt you rather listen to an awesome lakisha song than a gay song from sanjaya??? i mean, COME ON PEOPLE!!!! please email me back why you are actually doing this, or else i will start a petition to stop this fucking SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Catie

YOU SUCK! SANJAYI SUCKS! YOU ARE GAY! I THINK THAT ANY ONE WHO VOTES ON THIS SITE IS BIAS! WHY DONT YOU GET A LIFE? THE ONLY REASON TAYLOR HICKS ONE LAST YEAR IS BECAUSE OF YOUR SITE WICH REALLY CUKS BECASUE NOONE WILL EVER BUY HIS C.D OR GO TO HIS CONCERTS. GOOD JOB, I BET THE PEOPLE AT THE BUTT OF THIS LILL SCAM REALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES NOW! JERKS! YOU SUCK!
-Stephanie

DO YOU SEE THAT BITCH FACE??!! DO YOU SEE THE DAMN BITCH FACE! HE IS SO UGLY HE LOOK LIKE JORGE! HE IS A NAHSTY PIGSHIT MAN, COW SHIT. ITS PISS! IF I SEE ANY OF YOU IN THE STREET I WOULD JUMP ON YOUR MOUTH. I'D PUNCH YOUR FACE MAN!! THE UGLY SANJAYA HAS NO TALENT. HE NEEDS TO MAKE WAY FOR REAL TALENT, BECAUSE HE IS JERK!! JERK CHICKEN!
-Martin

Most, like St. Donita of the Tadpole Fixation, can't spell. (Why can't Americans spell ba?)

There's also a fascinating website that speculates on a raging possibility: "If Sanjaya wins, I, _______________, will..."

Let me take the challenge and finish that: "If Sanjaya wins, I, Ian Rosales Casocot, will proclaim a certain personal blog the best blog ever in the history of Philippine blogging -- and mean it."

Go, Sanjaya, go!

Labels: humor, life, television