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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

entry arrow1:14 PM | A Wonderful Life

I just came off a wonderful lunch with my mother in Royal Suites Inn, together with my brother Dennis Carmelo and his lovely family for Mother's Day -- and now I'm having a cup of the best coffee in Negros Oriental, in La Residencia's Don Atilano, enjoying free wifi while listening to the violin music of Itzhak Perlman playing his series on evocative film scores.

I'm staring out the bay windows of the cafe onto the blue of TaƱon Strait. It's a beautiful and sunny Sunday, and I am feeling that all is right in the world. And why wouldn't it be? I think of yesterday, which I spent in Antulang Beach Resort, with writers from the National Writers Workshop (courtesy of the wonderful Annabelle Lee-Adriano). After a cruise around Tambobo Bay and a great lunch, I retired to my own private villa (complete with its own swimming pool) on the cliffside that has a commanding view of the blue waters -- a sight that practically lures you into going buff without a care in the world. (And I, ehem, did.)

After napping and swimming, I was listening to easy music while staring out into the blue in Villa Alamanda, and the thought came to me: "This is really a wonderful life I'm having. I really can't complain about anything anymore."

If you ask the universe nicely enough, it does give you what your heart desires. I remember exactly a year ago when, on top of a sacred Sagada hill, the view of the Cordillera mountains and the gravity of the blue infinity beyond them unexpectedly made me weep in prayer -- and that was when I had first asked the universe for a different reality. I felt I needed change -- but of what kind, I had no definite idea then. Still, I remember praying hard on top of that hill.

Only lately have I realized that most of what I prayed for in Sagada have actually been answered in the past few months. I am happy that my baby have finally settled into a life I've always wished for him. That we have become great friends is something I will always cherish. And I have a new love as well -- which I have chosen to keep secret, because.... I have a new bond with my family that is warm and full of comedy. I have the company of great friends, old and new -- and our times together, spent in intimate hours in cafes and dancefloors and beaches, are deeper and more heartfelt. I have found a new reservoir of energy, and physically, I have never felt or looked better. I have a life that is a whirlwind of marvelous things. I can taste a future that I can almost bite into for sheer deliciousness. Most of all, I feel I am making the right decisions, and I am definitely bolder, and less hesitant to call a spade a spade, and to call out bullshit when needed. It's a completely different life -- and one I am actually still adjusting into. And I am genuinely, genuinely happy.

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