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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

entry arrow1:44 PM | A Habit of Remembering

I don't know what it is, but always when I am at my happiest, I think of you. That moment, for example, when I touched what passed for sky in that glass ledge in the tallest building in America. Or that satisfying musical finish I felt when I heard the last note ringing out from this Broadway show at the Oriental. Between those notes of utter glee, when everything seems good in the world, how I wished you were there with me sharing those moments. Your face flashes quickly in my memory, and I remember that tender change that comes over your face when you are feeling most happy: that secret smile, for example, that you unknowingly let glow when you're eating a pint of ice cream or when you're talking about the wilds of Africa. In those brief moments when I remember you, my happiness bows to this seed of beautiful, tender melancholy. I don't mind it. It is quick, after all, and does not hurt, although it does come from some deep well of pain. No ocean that separates, it seems, can contain my memory of you. I don't mind. It is a habit, I think, that's worth keeping.

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