Thursday, October 16, 2003
A Little Something for a Wet Thursday...
This is a poem by one of the best young Filipino writers I know,
Lille. This one has been anthologized in
Eros Pinoy (published by Anvil and edited by Virgilio Avialdo, Ben Cabrera and Alfred Yuson) and rendered in performance in the spoken word album
Uniberso: New Poets Calling (published by NCCA and edited by Mayo Uno Martin):
Why I Won’t Have Sex With You
By Lilledeshan Bose
If you really want to know, it’s because my thighs are too big. They slump across the bed, too heavy to move apart, but slightly, at the knees. Waves of cellulite lolling across seas and seas of undesired flesh. Mapped out by white webs of stretch marks, this wide expanse spills out of your grip, easily. I doubt if you would want to graze your fingers across a bedimpled, blotchy crack. I have trouble lifting my legs up for the perfect position (around your neck, perhaps, or my left knee hugged to my chest) because of this unwieldy weight, and I am so afraid to disappoint you. How your sweat drips down your brow in this great effort to get me to take my pants off. I try to distract you by sitting up, but my stomach rolls forward too fast and loose, to my dismay. I lie back down thinking, sex belongs to skinny people: the stick figures with melon boobs I know you fantasize about. I try not to bite my lip as you go down on me: I fail to keep a moan that half-arcs across this dark and sad motel room. I feel too big for the bed, too ugly for these mirrors, unworthy of this pleasure that I feel. I want to envelope your body with mine, enclose your being, but I fear losing you. I am too thick and oily: what if you suffocate within my folded flesh?
This is an homage of sorts by another great writer-friend
Dinah Rose Baseleres Ladia who SHOULD START GOING BACK TO HER WRITING ROOTS AND START PUBLISHING SOON (
pant... pant... pant...), in response to a shit of a man who crossed her recently (so it seems, anyway; don't ask me for details):
Why I Won’t Have Sex With You
By Dinah Rose Baseleres Ladia
If you really want to know, it’s because my thighs aren’t too big. They are smooth and creamy against the sheets, so smooth you are driven to madness imagining your cum splattered on them. You have never run your fingers across such brown smoothness, have you? The perfect swell of hip narrowing down to that perfect stretch of leg. I imagine your hands lifting my legs up for the perfect position (around your neck, perhaps, or my left knee hugged to my chest) and bile rises up my throat. I am afraid the sight of you will disappoint me: how your sweat drips from your brow, your chest heaving on top of mine. I try to distract you by cocking a loaded gun before you can cock yours (tiny little thing, sorry), but you fail to grasp the subtlety of homicide, intoxicated as you are by the sight of my naked breasts. I lie back down thinking, “When is this fucker going to stop?” I bite back profanity when you utter words that sound sacrilegious coming from you. Tiny thing that I am, I feel too big for your bed that is devoid of love. You are unworthy of the pleasure you want to feel and thus will never thrust yourself deep into my dark wetness, never feel yourself enclosed in my being, because you are thick and oily with the immensity of your arrogance. I know to you a blowjob from me will equal me loving you. And forgive me, but that is why I won’t have sex with you.
Ahhh, beautiful, beautiful poetry
both.
And whoever said this was a
wet Thursday may not just be talking about the weather...
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Well, what do you know.... I just learned from my editor that I'm a finalist
pala for the 2003
Catholic Mass Media Awards, Best Entertainment Column category.
It's for my column for the
Visayan Daily Star called "The Spy in the Sandwich."
Hehehehe. Entertainment column? I sound like Inday Badiday, may her soul rest in peace.
I'm dedicating this nomination to Marian Lim.
Really.The results will be announced in an awards ceremony next week, October 21, and will be broadcast
daw over RPN-9. Oh well, but I'm not going.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Beth Castillo has a
new blog.
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Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Friendster is evil. I spent five freaking hours in the shit last night, and was flabbergasted by the company of friends and major (and minor?) acquaintances that I keep, in a kind of Six Degrees game. Heck, even Damon Sattler's in it!
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How about this...
Guys (and I mean Kristyn, Bechang, Eric, Tedo, Mark, Teng, etc....), I am thinking and really getting tempted
to get addicted to
Friendster, which
Lille declares is
The Shit. I actually signed up a long, long time ago, but never really gave any of it a shit before. Now, I just want to know,
what's the fuss ba? Why's everybody really into it? Even minor Manila celebrities? And who shall I find when I venture into its murky waters? My high school crush?
Errr...{On another note: The above image
really grates at my obsessive compulsion. It illustrates what I hate about having a blogfield that's another color other than plain white.
Grrrr. So unsightly.}
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Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Somebody asked me why I don't have links to other blogs. Oh,
but I do. See left? Yes,
that orange bar over there. See it?
Very good... Now, see the tag Ghostdancers? You do?
Good.... Now, let your cursor hover over the space below.
Great lord, what are those? Links!
Ghostdancers... Ghost. Dancers. Get it?
Get it?Aww, nobody cares. Now back to Dunkin Donuts for coffee and checking term papers. It's really a wonderful life. It's really a wonderful life.
It's really a wonderful life....
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Monday, October 13, 2003
Something Sir Butch said in his column today arrested my attention:
True evil knows exactly what it wants and what it’s doing. It has a mind, it plans, it executes, it responds creatively to changing situations. And sometimes we can’t see it for what it is. It isn’t even necessarily a tangible person, but rather a presence, an invasive yet also a seductive force.
I'm thinking:
My God. Marian Lim.
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Saturday, October 11, 2003
Four words: final exam week aftermath.
Wish me luck for the blood bath.
On a lighter note: Yes, Oliver, it's been
a month since M. and I got together. We're celebrating tonight the only way we know how....
look at the stars. Ehem.
So eat my cornhole.I really should make this blog become more literary. Oh well...
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Wednesday, October 08, 2003
I didn't know there was such a thing as an
Ig Noble Prize. Now I do.
But the funny thing is, many of the recipients actually take it as an honor instead of the joke/ridicule the award really is.
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My God! I am so impressed!
Wow. President George W. Bush. Poet. Amazing! Here's a sampling from his jaw-dropping poetry, which
the First Lady unleashed to a grateful literary world recently:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you.
Now, if
that is not poetry, I'd die. In fact, I'd rather die right now. I'm not worthy to be called a writer in the glare of such brilliance!
Wow.
{So, quick! Click the above link NOW to get more of that brilliance!}
[via
bookslut]
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Tuesday, October 07, 2003
... I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
I love you because I know no other way
than this: where
I does not exist, nor
you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
--
Pablo Neruda[from
creating space 101]
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Can I be mean for a while? For a while
lang...Anyway, here's this
article from the BBC [via
bookslut] about the outrage over Pakistan's staging of Eve Ensler's
The Vagina Monologues. From the article:
Eve Ensler, the writer of the monologues, stressed that Pakistan's reaction was similar to the one the show had received around the world.
Ensler says the show receives the same reaction around the world. "It doesn't matter what city, what country I've gone to, there's been incredible outrage. And then what happens is that suddenly people realised how great it is to be talking about vaginas.
"But there's always that initial panic, and terror, and desire to shut things down when the word is mentioned anywhere."
Ensler added that fear of the vagina was universal, and something she hoped her monologues would continue to open people's eyes to.
Which is
sooo true. When we first staged
TVM in Silliman University two years ago, we encountered so much resistance. Some even called us pornographers! The venerable Evelyn Aldecoa, for example, lambasted us with so much moralistic fury, and rumor was that she went to the opening of
TVM in the Luce Auditorium, posted herself backstage to tape-record the whole thing, hoping probably to catch something "pornographic" and blackmail us.
Ngek. Maybe she's angry because she can't find her vagina.
All that fat....
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Monday, October 06, 2003
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Explanations later.
When I'm more composed.(But I just wish SO MUCH right now that that the frigid cow, that bitch, that Dementor, that Hag of Evil
drops dead.
And stays dead. I've never wished harm on anybody in all my life -- but this one takes the cake!)
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Friday, October 03, 2003
Ehem. :)
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And
this is why Rush Limbaugh is a stupid, fat, asshole.
Jeez! This sicko, of course, is the ideological contemporary of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Anita Bryant, Bill O'Reilly (and the rest of that clown network known as FoxNews), John Howard, and Anne Coulter....
The world is a bad, moralistic, hateful place because of these people.
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The
comedy of Kris and Joey, by an unknown ABS-CBN staffer.
[via
mom's closet]
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A forwarded email from poet Mila Aguilar:Pilger claims White House knew Saddam was no threat From
Sydney Morning Herald, 23 September 2003
Australian investigative journalist John Pilger says he has evidence the war against Iraq was based on a lie which could cost George W Bush and Tony Blair their jobs and bring Prime Minister John Howard down with them.
A television report by Pilger aired on British screens last night said US Secretary of State Colin Powell and National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice confirmed in early 2001 that Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein had been disarmed and was no threat.
But after the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington on September 11 that year, Pilger claimed Rice said the US "must move to take advantage of these new opportunities" to attack Iraq and claim control of its oil.
Pilger uncovered video footage of Powell in Cairo on February 24, 2001 saying, "He (Saddam Hussein) has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbours."
Two months later, Rice reportedly said, "We are able to keep his arms from him. His military forces have not been rebuilt."
Powell boasted this was because America's policy of containment and its sanctions had effectively disarmed Saddam.
Pilger claims this confirms that the decision of US President George W Bush - with the full support of British Prime Minister Blair and Howard - to wage war on Saddam because he had weapons of mass destruction was a huge deception.
Pilger interviewed several leading US government figures in Washington but said he did not ask Powell or Rice to respond to his claims.
"I think it's very serious for Howard. Howard has followed the Americans and to a lesser degree Blair almost word for word," Pilger told AAP before his program was screened on ITV tonight.
"All Howard does is say 'well it's not true' and never explains himself.
"I just don't believe you can be seen to be party to such a big lie, such a big deception and endure that politically.
"It simply can't be shrugged off and that's Howard's response.
"Blair has shrugged it off but Blair is deeply damaged.
"It's far from over here, there's a lot that is going to happen and much of it could wash onto Howard.
"And it's unravelling in America and Bush could lose the election next year.
"I've not seen political leaders survive when they've been complicit in such an open deception for so long."
Howard last week dismissed an accusation from Opposition Leader Simon Crean that he hid a warning from British intelligence that war against Iraq would heighten the terrorist threat to Australia.
In his report, Pilger interviews Ray McGovern, a former senior CIA officer and friend of Bush's father and ex-president, George Bush senior.
McGovern told Pilger that going to war because of weapons of mass destruction "was 95 per cent charade."
Pilger also claims that six hours after the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Centre, US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said he wanted to "hit" Iraq and allegedly said "Go Massive ... Sweep it all up. Things related and not."
He was allegedly talked down by Powell who said the American people would not accept an attack on Iraq without any evidence, so they opted to invade Afghanistan where Osama bin Laden had bases.
Pilger claimed war was set in train on September 17, 2001 when Bush signed a paper directing the Pentagon to explore the military options for an attack on Iraq.
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From an email by UST poet Gerald Feljandro Ramos:Who understands men?1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
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Wednesday, October 01, 2003
My very good friend, the UP poet Vincent Coscolluela whom we all call
Cos, has written a new poem titled "Why I Never Go to Discos," which I
am totally in love with. It's a departure from his earlier works (which were already quite heady, I tell you). This poem is part of my second book,
FutureShock Poetry: An Anthology of Young Writers and New Literatures, which is the second volume of an anthology I am working on now (the first one was nominated -- surprisingly -- for Best Anthology in the 2003 National Book Awards!). So, without even asking for his permission, I am posting this poem in my blog. Why?
Because it rocks! Why I Never Go To Discos I don’t know how to dance, and the language
of moving bodies has never been
my specialty. Instead I like to pair up words
and look them up. Today
I googled God and found
42,700,000 matches, Freud among them.
Freud? Freud says cigarettes
should remind us of penises, and if so
no wonder many people smoke at discos.
Like you, I go out at night sometimes
but it is to take long walks
to see lights of a non-fluorescent kind.
Did you know in the Discovery Channel
they’re making fluorescent mice?
They’re patented even, since scientists
created them. Something in the genes, and yes,
when they make love, they have fluorescent
babies. The mice of course, not the scientists.
I once wrote my name and number
at the back of a bus, but nobody called.
I blamed my handwriting all week.
Do you mind if I say
make love instead of have sex?
Do you mind? I don’t smoke
and my penis is small, but
I make great pancakes and am often kind
especially on Sundays. Despite
my loneliness I have my ways
and will only kiss you if it rains.
Love it. Love it.
Love it.
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Mitos,
Happy birthday.
Jaguar.
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