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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

entry arrow7:17 AM | Echo

You guess, when you woke up this morning to the sound of Bruce Springsteen singing "The Secret Garden," that something must be done about this. The truth is, you really can't control what you feel. When you feel sad, you feel sad. When you're happy, you're happy. Your head can tell you to feel the opposite, but you suddenly find you are not an automaton. You are hostaged to the chemical rushes your body makes. Emotions are the only truly stubborn thing there is. And they're flighty, too. They change with each slight nudge of the seasons. Nothing can be done about that as well.

But you can change the specific circumstances -- deleting the Internet accounts with which you can see him mug for the world to see, for example -- by which you feel things.

Because you can't go on like this forever. Today must be the start of your emancipation. You must remember most that he does not love you, not the way you deserve to be loved, anyway. All that you are and all that you can give, they're wasted on stone. It's not right.

Someday, the universe will conspire to make you complete. But you must first learn to let go.


[1] This is Where You Bite the Sandwich