The Spy in the Sandwich

Monday, August 06, 2007

2:33 AM | Ugh.

There's this stupid review blog that, well, reviews blogs for what they're supposed to be worth. (Their title aptly presents their premise: "So many blogs, so little time...") The first time I visited the blog many months ago, it had a great-looking template and a seemingly sound premise. It first struck me as being absolutely intriguing ... until they changed their look, and then I soon found myself giggling (and finally guffawing) over some of the reviewers' handling of the language, with embarrassing misspellings ("Philippino"), unfortunate turns of phrases ("I'm wore out"), grammatical errors ("this blog got to me with it's pictures, it's stories, it's other blogs"), and shameless overuse of punctuations (!!!) that seemed to come straight from some God-forsaken freshman composition. (Frankly, they don't sound educated at all. High school dropouts, maybe. Consider this sentence about a literary blog: "...but you have to really be into this entire life that is books and writing to get into this blog." If that doesn't tell you what kind of reviewers these are, then just go to the dictionary and look up the word "stupid," or "unread.") It would have been all right if some of the blogs they panned (or praised) deserved it. But look at this: They praise this blog to high heavens (giving it an enigmatic perfect 10) -- when frankly there's nothing special about it, not even the tacky design, which a second grader with half a crayon can do one better. And then they give this blog a miserly 2 out of 10, with a review that can rightly be described as "retarded." Sensibilities, upon close examination, is a writerly blog whose posts are well-written, poetic, and intelligent -- it doesn't really need the frills of a dolled-up template to matter, because content is what counts here. (Consider this post on blogging hiatus: "A name died on my lips today, and I was not prepared for it. First there was the smell of jasmine, then there were voices around me, and then all of a sudden, the death happened. And then, the world went on as usual, while I stood still in the middle, not yet sure what happened in that split second where love had failed." Beautiful.) Still, the reviewer snorts at all that, and dismissively tells the blogger "to get a life, or write a book." (The blogger, unfortunately for the reviewer, has written three books.) The dismissive snark is unforgivable, because it is undeserved -- and what's worse, it's written in a troglodyte's sense of consideration, and mangled language.

And judging from how they reviewed CoksiBlue, they don't even know what a vlog is.

So let's give this review blog a taste of its own medicine, and review "Review My Blog"...

At First Glance: Boring. Nothing strikes you. Surfing by this blog is like walking by a faded poster on a wall. It doesn't pull you in, because it has no sense of gravity at all. Still, it looks half-way decent ... until you read further, and find yourself shaking your head ... because really, some of these women have no taste, and many of their posts reflect a crabby mentality that smells faintly of the menopausal. Unless snark for snark's sake is up your alley, this blog has the worth of week-old bread.

Template/Design: The design, typical of the "chick-lit look" complete with the pastel illustrations, has been done to death. And the cork board looks hokey. For reviewers who seem particularly gung-ho about templates, their template borders on the tacky, or the ho-hum.

Content: They don't know so many things, it seems. Some of the reviews are nothing more than pure drivel, with a doubtful sense of judgment that nevertheless sounds too "high and mighty" for comfort. Some of the reviewers write well (reviewer Chatty Chicka is great, she's level-headed and sounds intelligent...), but I suppose some of them cannot write even when a passable sentence bites their ass (...that said, there's absolutely nothing sexy about reviewer Sexy Simone).

What is the first thing I would change about this blog? The gleeful sense of snark. And the doubtful level of taste (Sexy Simone's, in particular). If there's some change (or perhaps the firing of one of the six ), maybe this blog would be something remotely near being trustworthy.

What is the best feature of this blog? If there's more Sexy Simone or Diva Dee, then the "delete this blog" button in Blogger's settings section. Simone, in particular, is not smart, and is trying too hard to be sassy... and to put her more in her place, she sounds absolutely clueless. (She must tick herself off a lot then.)

Rating: A 2, because I can be generous.

And before Sexy Simone tells me to get a life, or write a book, I'd like to say, Well, I've written two books already.

[My advise: don't put up your blog for review in this site. It's like being critiqued in the how-to's for acting by nobody else but Paris Hilton.]

Labels: blogging, criticism