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This is the blog of Ian Rosales Casocot. Filipino writer. Sometime academic. Former backpacker. Twink bait. Hamster lover.

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Friday, June 22, 2007

entry arrow5:20 PM | How We Bounce Back

You need friends. The best ones -- the ones who do not hesitate to carry you through the worst of circumstances and the ones who do not know the language of betrayal -- are the ones who become more than family: they are beyond blood, connected to us not by the accident of birth but by the almost sacred act of choosing. In affirming the kinds of friendships we choose to have, we elect to surround ourselves with people who affirm us, who ground us, who reflect the way we are or the way we want to be. The best of my friends, even when separated from me by distance or by the years of silence, define my life, and my very humanity. And for that, I am most thankful.

It's been a long time since I've been with good friends, trapped as I've been in the thankless tasks that govern everyday life. Yesterday, after a final (and redeeming) acknowledgment of how messed up a life can become, I've slowly rebuilt my being through a rapid succession of meeting up with friends I haven't seen for the longest time. It must have started some time ago when Warlito and Chinky chose to spirit me away from a wrenching scene of utter humiliation, and fed me cookies and cake in Sans Rival. Then the other night, I had dinner with Annabelle, Jacqueline, and Mark at the new Italian restaurant near Avenida Sta. Catalina. Then the next day, I had great lunch with Myrish, and then a wonderful dinner with Ma'am Susan. Kristyn texted me from Sydney. Kris emailed from Madrid. And Bing sent me this: "You are not alone. I ask myself the same things now. I sometimes think it must be about being 30. Beer? Let me know. I love you!" Each encounter was an affirmation of things I've forgotten about life, and with these wonderful people ready to guide me once again from the murk to the light, I know that I will be in good hands, and that I do not have to despair so much about everything.

Matud pa ni Ma'am Su, kung awayon ka, sulti, "Ngano man diay." Wisdom she got from the wonderful Betty Abregana (now Cernol-McCann).

We need friends.

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